Posts Tagged 'Weight'

Dr. Oz Talks With Susanne Eman And Her Goal To Be The Fattest Woman In The World

Since taking care of my mother I’ve become somewhat of a shut in. I do crossword puzzles, go on the computer, watch TV anything to take up time.

When I watch TV during the day, I watch the various the judge shows, movies on Lifetime or Hallmark channel. I don’t like anything scary (living with mom is enough) once in a while I’m drawn to Dr. Oz. his show always has something that scares the hell out of me, whether it’s the Truth Tube, the germs in my purse, signs of diseases, he never fails to deliver.

Well, near the end of September I needed something to shake me up so Dr. Oz it was. His guest was Susanne Eman.

Susanne Eman, if I remember correctly weighs over 700lbs. her goal is to become the fattest woman in the world and her target weight is 1800 lbs. She walked out onto the stage without any assistance, no walker or cane. She was nice looking, cheery and agile.

She stated she had no health issues, her sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol are all were within normal limits. She stated she walks at least three to four times a week and when she gets the chance, enjoys swimming.

Okay, I’m thinking this lady has got to be stuck on stupid. There’s no way I’m buying she’s in perfect health, I found myself yelling at Dr. Oz to push her big behind to the “The Truth Tube.”

She’s not married, has two kids, I’m thinking her food bill must be the same as for Home Town Buffet. In fact they said she could sit at a buffet for over six hours yikes! Where’s her income coming from.

Apparently there are sickos out there I’ll call them chubby chasers that pay to watch obese people eat over the internet. Apparently she has a growing group of followers, she said since she’s going to eat anyway she might as well get paid. Two of her fans, nice looking young to middle aged men were in the audience, they were of normal weight. I’m confused what does seeing a fat women eating doing for them?

According to Dr. Oz watching obese people eat is the second biggest fetish in the country behind pornography. Where in the hell have I been?

Susanne went on to say she models clothes for larger women. Okay being plus size I applaud retailers who use plus size women as models as this allows us to see how clothes look since, one size does not necessarily fit all. But come on, how many women out there buying clothes are 700lbs. It would be like putting a car cover for a Smart car on a Hummer, let’s get real.

Dr. Oz showed some of her modeling tapes she appeared to be wearing a nightgown; she sat on a couch and swings her legs under her body, she moved as if she was size six. However, once she stopped moving and posed, her legs and arms were still jiggling. For a brief moment I thought I was watching an advertisement for Jell-O.

Her deal is she wants to teach people not to judge a book by its cover. When you see a fat person out in the street don’t assume their lazy and not contributing to society. Well, I for one don’t think people judge the contents of a book by its cover; however I do feel people will not pick up the book if the cover is big.

I don’t think eating until you’re the largest woman in the world is contributing to society. There has been many large people who have contributed to society; Santa Claus, Pavarotti, Oprah, Winston Churchill and Alfred Hitchcock they all contributed in their own way, they didn’t have to eat their way into the Guinness book of World Records and they didn’t have to diet to fit in.

In the end, her doctor said she’s playing Russian roulette with her life, but that she showed no problems yet. However, Dr. Oz put her numbers into the Truth Tube and told her she was a ticking time bomb.

Well this program scared me for a couple of reasons, for this young girl who is eating herself to death, for her kids who will lose their mother and for all us big girls because we don’t know who’s watching us.

But, on the plus side I did learn how to make extra cash for Christmas. As soon as my brownies have cooled and my roast is done, I’m getting into my nightgown and putting on the web cam.

Love Is In The Air

It started off in the air, when my husband handed me a Hoops & Yoyo card. For those of you who are not familiar with Hoops & Yoyo their a pair of animated characters on Hallmark cards that tend to yell and get overly excited. So in the air I open the card to be greeted by these characters talking fast and telling knock knock jokes, in the card my husband wrote Hau Oli La Makuahine Me Ke Aloha Pumeana, which he translated to Just for you with the warmth of my love, or at least that’s what we think means.

So picture this older handsome man with this older plus sized woman with the obnoxious card and seeing him give her a few loving kisses. I’m sure people were thinking maybe their a widow and widower who after all these years found love with each other. Little did they know that we’ve been together since we were fifteen and seventeen, what’s the old saying, “there may be snow on the roof, but there’s still fire in the furnace.” Well let’s just say Paul’s pilot light was on.

During the flight Paul would off and on hold my hand, rub my shoulders and would occasionally give me the smoochie face. While Paul has always been very loving and attentive he was being very touchy feely on the plane, was it just that we were finally alone or was it a ruse to throw everyone off in case I fell into the volcano this was a valid question, after all we’ve been together so long. But then I remembered I’ve always been a hot chick, so I just sat back and enjoyed all the attention.

Once we landed and started out on our little trips it finally dawned on me, all this attention was to make me feel guilty if I started to complain. Paul dragged my sorry ass everywhere and he did it in a way that I couldn’t say anything. Since I’m still using a cane he would drop me off and pick me up at all the entrances. He made sure there was always somewhere that I could sit, yes some would say a perfect gentleman or was he just smarter than me, he wasn’t giving me anything to complain about. Yes, he’s good.

But there was something he couldn’t change the humidity, finally something I could complain about. Humidity is hard on everyone, once you start sweating you’re uncomfortable and it affects everything especially when you’re plus size. My shirt was constantly damp and Paul was looking at me like I was in a wet t-shirt contest, I couldn’t win, this was our second honeymoon and nothing was going to ruin it.

Everyday we took a long drive; we ate in restaurants that received ono’s in the Ultimate Hawaii book. We saw Polynesian dancers, we listened to live slack key guitar and saw a children’s hula show. We saw very few geckos, enjoyed the mongoose at the brewery and on this trip saw no centipedes, we did have a wonderful time.

I know Dana was worried she kept saying she was too old for a new brother or sister, but that didn’t stop me I was still trying to get one of the dancers in my luggage.

Now were back home, my jeans are a little looser from all the sweating but I’m sure by the time I finish my glass of ice water I’ll plump right back up.
A hui hou. (See you later).

Zeltiq, Or Freeze Your Fat Away

I was watching TV the other night when a commercial for the eleven o’clock news came on saying there’s a new noninvasive procedure to freeze fat away. I’m interested so I TiVo’d it.

The procedure is called Zeltiq, it’s been approved for a variety of dermatologic applications, and it’s pending approval for fat cell reduction using Cryolipolysis.

They place a gel pack against the skin then using what feels like a vacuum they press against your skin, apparently when they cool the fat to a certain temperature for a certain length of time many of the fat cells die. Apparently the procedure is a precisely controlled cooling that only targets fat cells and not skin and other tissue. So here it is three simple steps; suck, freeze and die.

Interesting, so I Googled it.

Yes it works; it is expensive and recommended for those that are somewhat normal in weight with little pockets of fat not the extremely obese that have saddle bags or a twelve pack.

What a waste all the new ways to lose weight geared towards people who are within normal or acceptable weight to begin with.

Anyone within normal weight, who would pay for this procedure, should have their brain frozen and sucked out. Doctors are getting rich helping people who only have a few pounds to lose. I say leave these doctors alone until they fine tune this procedure for the people who really need it, the obese.

Realistically I cannot afford this procedure without giving up some of my hobbies like gas, food and electricity, but it would be nice if it was an option.

Everything now is promoted to lose weight fast, the easy way, pounds melt away, then you read the fine print and its for those who are overweight by five to ten pounds, or weight loss equipment that has a weight limit, what the hell it’s supposed to be for people who don’t have a weight limit, because their obese!

So, I’m taking control of my situation today, as soon as I finish the last Popsicle I’m going to sit in the freezer for a controlled length of time.
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Ill Fitting Shoes And Old People

Okay I haven’t written in some time because of stress, nothing has changed no real big problems only me just worrying about all the little issues that have been cropping up. So I may do a few shorter entries to catch up.

I haven’t written about my mom lately she’s been flying below my radar just a few instances of her diving into my sights for a hit now and then. But unfortunately all good things have to come to an end.

I’ve written in the past about my mom and weight issues, she has always been petite. I have always been as they say; big boned, thick, chunky, chubby or fat and this not only bothers her, it embarrasses her and lately she’s been coming up with ways to remind me I’m heavy.

I basically buy all her clothes; she in the past would go out shopping with my aunt Socorro. Now Socorro is very active and always looks nice so my mom would pick out clothes like hers, clothes that she would never wear, so with tags still on they just hang in her closet.

I buy dresses that are mid calf, tank top or short sleeved in earth tones, she has dressy to casual even Hawaiian prints, in extra small or petite small. She always wears a solid colored matching sweater. As far as shoes she wears slippers all day, and is now down to two pairs of Easy Spirit shoes that no longer fit.

So I’ve been shopping. I have ordered/bought shoes for her but the princess is never happy. Once size is to big the next one down to small. I’m frustrated it’s not like she’s going to dance or run a marathon, when we go anywhere that would involve her wearing shoes she’s in a wheelchair. I’m about ready to paint her feet black to give the illusion she’s wearing shoes.

Today Paul went out shopping and bought her a pair of size six, light weight MaryJane Danskin shoes, they are really cute. He gets a big Atta Boy!

“Mom, look Paul bought you a pair of shoes.”
“I don’t need him to buy me shoes.”
“Mom, as simple thank you would be nice.”
“Will they fit? They look big. What size are they?”
“There size six.”
“Size six, are you sure I wear a six, my feet are small and dainty.”
“You wear size six, like a million other people.”
“I’m not saying I have smaller feet than other people, but I am petite.”

So I put them on and she’s smiling.

“Nancy, you should get a pair, do they make them in your size?”
“I’m sure they do.”
“What size shoe do you wear?”
“I dunno.”
“You know what size you wear, what size is it?”
“Don’t worry mom I don’t need a pair their not my style.”

Here it comes;

Nancy, I know you have big feet, you’re big all over, what size do you wear?”

Now how stupid do you think I am, there’s no way in hell I’m going to say nine and half or ten. I know what will happen, she’ll say something hurtful like I didn’t even know women could have such big feet or do they make women’s shoes that large.

I just smile.

“Why won’t you tell me what size you wear, I won’t say anything.”
“Six and a half.”

Just My Size

My husband and I, our kids and one of our nieces will be in Hawaii on a much needed vacation. Everyone feels I need to get away, and I have to agree. Dealing with my mom has been very difficult. But lately I’ve been under another type of stress, finding clothes to wear. 

Being a plus sized gal, going to Hawaii is challenging. I’ve been doing my shopping on the internet since I really don’t have the free time away from mom. But believe it or not I’ve been finding some cute tops, now I’m trying to find Capri’s. This hasn’t been easy since easy my legs are totally white they haven’t seen daylight in probably thirty-six years, then add to it their shaped like tree trunks. But as long as I don’t get to daring (I don’t want to embarrass the family) to hell with the people I don’t know, I’ll never see them again. 

Well, anyway I was shopping last night at midnight, when I started to look at swimsuits.  I was on the JMS (Just My Size) site. I found a catalog that helps you find your perfect swimwear solutions. 

The first page has different woman talking about their issues; 

“My (D) Cups Runneth Over” 

Chick number one is saying “No A, B, C’s for me I am strictly a D cup, my cup runneth over, I gotta be careful when coming out of the pool because when you jump up and the water hits it almost makes you completely exposed, JMS leaves her covered from bottom to top.”

What the hell, my double DD’s runneth over, under and to the side, forget about jumping anywhere, I might knock myself out. So I guess I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a turtle neck. 

“Tame My Thighs” 

Chick number two; is saying “I feel great from the waist up, it’s my thighs that are the problem, I just want a bathing suit that makes me feel sexy, you’ll never see me at the edge of the pool with these thighs, I’m right in the water the deep water  JMS has suits that makes these thighs disappear.”

Well, I don’t want my thighs to disappear, because I won’t have a place for my love handles, I would settle for a suit to make them one half their size. So, I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a twenty-one inch inseam. 

“I Deserve Curves” 

The next woman is saying; “When I go to the pool or the beach, I go for the whole day, I want to put my suit on one time adjust it once and have it perfect for the rest of day, I don’t want to look like Sponge Bob Square Pants, C’mon JMS, help me get my curve on.”

Ok, I seen Sponge Bob Square Pants, and if I remember correctly he looked a hell of a lot better than me in a swimsuit. So, maybe suspenders would help. 

“Hide My Hips” 

Ok this one is talking about her hips; “Right from the lips, straight to the hips, that’s me, I want to believe I’m still a surfer girl I love hanging out at the beach, but I don’t want my hips to hang out, thanks JMS for making some swimsuits that makes my hips look good.”

Yeah, I like to think of myself as a surfer girl too, but let’s face it the song came out in 1963, and so did my hips, so to hide my hips; I’ll leave them in the car with a hot dog. 

“Trim My Tummy” 

Number five is talking about her tummy; “Swimsuit issues, let’s see I will never buy a swimsuit again if it does not have a skirt. Tummy control in a swimsuit is always good I’ve had tummy fat forever, since I was about two seconds old.  With JMS swimsuits, this year I’m thrilled to head to the pool and my nine year old is ecstatic

Wow, this poor woman has had tummy fat since she was two seconds old, I didn’t start getting heavy until much later. I glad the skirts on the new swimsuits make her feel better, I’m still going to look for one with a skirt, suspenders and an extra set of pants. 

“More To Adore” 

Number six, “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them, when I find bathing suits that I wear, I really have to cover up because I don’t want to show everything, I just love to be able to walk and feel comfortable and feel safe. No more cover ups, JMS has me covered.”

What this woman had to say is right on “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them.” This is true the last time my husband saw my curves he had to take a bonine. So add to my swimsuit a jacket to hide my bodacious body.  

So there it is, I need a swim suit that has a turtle neck to keep my double DD’s in check, Capri length to cover my thighs, suspenders,, a hot dog to keep my hips in check, a skirt to hide my tummy and a jacket to hide my curves. 

No problem I put everything together and bought a sweat suit.

It Ain’t Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

On my last entry, I mentioned it was one of my worst days in a while. Well, “it ain’t over till fat lady sings,” and I’m not singing yet. 

On Monday I took my mom to the doctor’s, all her tests came in, and as expected everything was within range except her vitamin B-12. My mom suffers from pernicious anemia; her symptoms are weakness, feeling tired, lightheadedness, pale, losing weight (eight pounds in the last seven months) depression and dementia. 

During the visit my mom was having difficulty with her ability to understand and stay on track with questions the doctor was asking her. She also would roll her eyes and shrug her shoulders whenever I would speak. She called me a liar when I explained she was not eating, and said I was never home to take care of her. When her doctor questioned why she has not come for her B-12 shots she replied that she was told by him that she no longer needed them. She was then asked why she had lost more weight; she tried to explain that he was wrong she had gained not lost. 

I explained that my doctor was concerned for my health, he agreed that I needed help. I told him that my husband and I were planning to go with our kids to Hawaii for two weeks but that I have been unable to find someone to do my mom’s catheters. He at that point called for a social worker to get involved. He explained the progression of dementia and that I should realize that at some point changes will have to be made. He also prescribed medication that might help with her depression. 

As we were leaving his office, he explained he would be away for three weeks on vacation. I asked if he was going anywhere special, yes he was going to Japan. At that point my mom joined in by saying when she was growing up she had a Japanese neighbor who had eyes like his,(OMG), and her sister when growing up had fat cheeks so even her eyes looked slanted. I just smiled and shook my head, he smiled back, different generation, and in my mom’s case different world.

Two days later, I got a call from our Social Worker, she had arranged for a nurse to come out and evaluate my mom; she would be there later that day. Soon after I received a call from the nurse, she scheduled us between one and two. 

The nurse was wonderful, her voice and demeanor was so caring, I instantly felt relaxed, we talked for about twenty minutes, and then I brought in my mom. She made some small talk and when my mom felt comfortable started asking questions.
 
“How old are you.”
“Eighty seven.”
“What year is it?”
“Nineteen eighty-eight.”
“How long were you married?”
“Eighty years.”
“What month is it?”
“October.”
“What day is it?”
“Saturday.”
“What is the date?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who is the President of the United States?”
“Oh, I know this one; it’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“His first name starts with a B.”
“It’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“It’s Barack.”   
“Oh yeah, Barackus,”
“Do you know his last name?”
“It’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“It’s starts with an O.”
“Oh, I remember its Barackus Overstreet.”

Every answer was wrong. 

“Mom, you need to watch the news, read the paper and talk so you can keep up to date with everything.”
“I am up to date.”
“Mom, all the questions she asked, you got wrong.”
“I knew the answers; I just didn’t want to tell her.”
“Keep playing that game, you’ll find yourself in a home.” 

Its evident today was not going to be a good one. The nurse said she would come back next week. She wants me to concentrate more on her caloric intake then protein. So my mission is to feed her fifteen hundred calories a day. Shoot that should be easy, I can do fifteen hundred by lunch. But, with my mom let’s just say Mission Impossible, I’ve been able to get her up to thirteen hundred, then she stops, she cannot or will not eat anymore. 

“Mom, you need to eat, if you lose more weight, you’ll have to go to the home so you can get proper nourishment.”
“I don’t have to do anything, or eat anything I don’t want to.”
“Mom, you’re losing it.”
“You think I’m losing it, maybe your losing it.”

Maybe.

I Can’t Eat Like You People

 If you read the entries titled; “Vomit”, “Coffee Water” and “Water Torture” you know that my mom has a few sentences that she repeats over and over everyday, that drive me crazy. 

Well, here’s another; “I can’t eat like you people.” Now what in the heck does she mean?

“Mom, here’s dinner.”
“What is it?”
“One pork chop, cut into bite size pieces, pan fried potatoes (about six slices) a spoonful of green beans and two tomato slices.”
“I can’t eat like you people.”
“Mom, it looks nice on the plate, here’s your fork. This is not a lot of food when you only eat one meal a day.”
“I can’t eat like you people.”
“Mom, what are you talking about; we put food on the fork, then in our mouth, chew and swallow. If you don’t eat like us, show me how you do it?”
“Don’t get smart.”
“I’m not getting smart, you keep saying “I can’t eat like you people” what does that mean?”
“I can’t eat a lot of food.”

She’s right, she doesn’t eat like us. My mom doesn’t do anything during the day to get hungry. She sleeps twelve to twenty hours, only to get up brush her teeth then sit in a recliner until its time to start over. So she doesn’t require a lot of food. I give her appetizer portion sized dinners, served on a bread plate. 

I don’t eat like you people.” It drives me crazy when I hear this all day long, because I never let my mom see me eat. Strange, not really. My mom loves to point out, that she is petite and I’m plus sized, she has a critical eye for everything I say or do. So, I choose not to let her see me put anything in my mouth. 

I eat breakfast when she takes her shower; lunch when she’s napping, dinner is when she’s down for the night. I am a stressful eater, and I’m stressed.

So here it is; “I don’t eat like her, because she’s always chewing out my —!”


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