Go Ahead Make My Day

Remember the scene in Sudden Impact when Harry Callahan (played by Clint Eastwood) confronts a robber who’s holding a waitress hostage with a gun to her head, instead of backing off, Clint puts his gun into the guys face and says, “Go ahead make my day.”

They must be planning to do a sequel and my mom is practicing for the lead. For the last two days, minus a cigar hanging out of her mouth, she’s been doing her impression of Clint.

I was in the kitchen talking on speaker phone with my daughter Dana today at 11:45 when my mom came out;

“I’m not eating breakfast today”
“What do you mean your not eating breakfast?”
“I had Ensure this morning and that was my breakfast.”
“You had Ensure, before you showered, so you wouldn’t be in a hot shower with an empty stomach.”
“I’m not eating breakfast.”
“Okay, then I’ll make lunch.”
“I’m not eating.”

Now keep in mind my mother only eats a small breakfast and an even smaller lunch that’s it, only two meals a day and dessert, and now she’s telling me no breakfast.

So, I placed her breakfast on the table and said;

“Here’s your breakfast, if you don’t eat it, I’m making you lunch and then later I’ll make you dinner.”

The thought of actually eating two meals was too much for her, as I picked up the phone and slid out the dining room chair my mom yelled;

“Why did you throw the chair at me?”

Now keep in mind my mom’s dining room set is old and made of solid wood, the chairs all have arms and weigh about twenty pounds.

“What!”
“Why did you throw the chair?”
“I didn’t throw the chair I slid it out for you.”
“Well, why don’t you just hit me?”
“Why, would I hit you?”
“Just hit me.”

I started talking with Dana and said this is what it’s been like the last two days; she keeps telling me to hit her. I don’t know what’s going in her mind. Maybe she wants me to audition for Jerry Springer.

I find myself yelling, just to get the simplest things through to her, and there she is all 110 pounds in my face saying “hit me, hit me.”

I have to see the humor in everything she does, I have to remember she’s not all there and I have to remind myself the little old piñata yelling, hit me, hit me, doesn’t have enough candy for this Mexican to pick up a bat….

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2 Responses to “Go Ahead Make My Day”


  1. 1 Barbara December 1, 2010 at 10:51 am

    “the little old piñata yelling, hit me, hit me, doesn’t have enough candy for this Mexican to pick up a bat….”…….

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! You poor woman! Our Moms can be so weird at times. I have lots of eye-rolling experiences here, too!

  2. 2 BFF December 2, 2010 at 9:55 am

    I keep telling you…it’s time for her to be placed in a care facility. I don’t want to have to visit you in a mental institution. Can’t keep this up forever.

    Love,
    Your BFF You are a funny, crazy lady. I must say I
    laughed too.


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