Dr Oz, Again

I’ve written two entries about Dr. Oz, “Living Longer” in April 2009, and “The Hour by Hour Commitment” back in August of 2008, If you remember both times he’s scared the hell out of me. Since then it’s been no more Dr. Oz.  

Well, now he has his own show, I wasn’t going to watch it, but it’s like when you pass a train wreck, no matter how hard you try not to look you still do. So I checked it out on the internet, it says Dr. Oz kicks off a daily show that’s all about YOU. Shit he’s after me again. 

The first episode he follows a viewer who frequents fast food three times a day, six days a week. He puts her in the truth tube which lists her weight, blood pressure, LDL level and her chronological age compared to her real age (which is what her body thinks it is). In her case she was twenty-nine, her body was thirty-five. Yikes. My LDL level and blood pressure are better than hers, but my weight and BMI are worse. My age is is fifty-six but I’ll assume my real body age is somewhere around ninety-three, I knew I shouldn’t have watched this damn show.  

He also talked about good sex, he had a man and woman from the audience place circles (I guess to represent bull’s eye’s) on cutouts of the opposite sex, where they thought the other sex’s erogenous zones were. By using the circles on the cutouts you and your partner can talk about what each other needs. Oh, brother, just open your mouth and tell your spouse what you need, if you can’t be direct make a game out of it, your getting warmer, now your getting cold, warm, cold get the idea?  

Something else I learned, was the erogenous zones on a man, they were; the brain, lips, perineum, and down south. For the woman it’s the brain, feet, belly button and G-spot. For me it’s; MacDonald’s, In & Out or Burger King, a good dessert and a Netflix movie. 

Another thing they talked about was purses. He picked three women from the audience and analyzed their purses for germs. Gross, they found germs and fungus that can cause asthma, meningitis, even fecal contaminates. Starting today, no more purses, I’m using a fresh plastic grocery bag every day to carry my wallet, keys and makeup. Everything from now on will be disposable. 

Oh my husband just called he’ll be home early, if I have money (I’ll check my plastic bag) we’ll get take out for dinner, I didn’t tell him the mailman just delivered a new Netflix movie, so I guess someone’s getting lucky later.


3 Responses to “Dr Oz, Again”

  1. 1 BBB September 19, 2009 at 8:56 am

    AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I’m rolling on the floor here!!! I almost peed my pants!!

    “For me it’s; MacDonald’s, In & Out or Burger King, a good dessert and a Netflix movie. ” hahahahaha!!!!!! 🙂

    (This is Senior Safari..my new Blogger ID since I moved the site to Blogger is BBB!)


  2. 2 Nancy September 20, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    I found the new site, and I love the little mouse. But I will miss the little old dancing lady.

  3. 3 BBB September 20, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    I’m glad you found the new site! I’d miss you terribly if you didn’t show up there! (I thought I had sent you the link–??)
    The dancing granny is still at the end of each post!!

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