Beach Day

On the second day we packed a lunch, grab our towels went to Lydgate State Park, its two beach ponds, that allows for fresh ocean water to enter, along with fish, but its rocks protect you from the oceans force. It’s pretty popular with families with small children. 

We found a picnic table with shade about twenty five feet from the ocean. Once we got settled and the baby was in the ocean, I decided I was going to surprise everyone by walking into the water up to my knees. 

Now remember I’m plus size and have bad knees so I walk slowly. I removed my sandals and started on my trek, only to stop about five feet into my journey. The sand was hotter than hell, and my weight pushed me into the sand up to my ankles. So there I was in slow motion trying to pull my legs out and get my big butt to safety. Dana realized what happened and offered me her thongs, but the damage was done, I figured if I got stuck in the sand closer to the water, the beach goers’ might try to keep me wet as they pulled me back into the ocean. 

So I went back into the shade. I decided to try and even out my farmer tan, so I sat in the sand to catch a few rays. Now the area we were in was a picnic area and I could smell either bacon or Spam (Hawaiian’s love Spam), cooking but I couldn’t find out where it was coming from. After a few minutes it felt like my butt was having a hot flash, the sand was so hot it was my behind sizzling, so I decided the safest place for me was back in the condo, but I settled for the picnic bench. 

Oh I almost forgot about this guy we saw at the beach. He appeared to be of Italian descent, on a scale of one to ten he was a thirty-four. I will call him Adonis.

Adonis was accompanied by an average looking young girl and two old ladies. The young girl laid on her towel getting some rays; he was about twenty feet away caring for the two ladies. Now I was watching everyone on the beach, all the husbands/boyfriends were putting sunscreen on their mates the usual way by just slapping it on, you could tell they just wanted to get done. Adonis on the other hand was putting it on in such a way I longed for a cigarette and for him to hold me. He was so attentive putting on their sunglasses, smoothing their hair, it was almost x-rated, I’m not joking I video taped part of it. My niece, my daughters and the guys were mesmerized trying to figure out what was up. The guys thought he was a grandson or a son-in-law but us women knew what was up, his full name was Adonis Gigolo, and he was worth every penny. As he was leaving my son said maybe he’s their nurse. My reply; “I’m terminally ill.”


2 Responses to “Beach Day”

  1. 1 seniorsafari September 17, 2009 at 8:41 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Too damn funny! Love reading your stuff!!

    “Adonis on the other hand was putting it on in such a way I longed for a cigarette and for him to hold me.”……, my, my!!!!

  2. 2 Nancy September 18, 2009 at 9:01 am

    You should have seen him, he was gorgeous.

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