Airplanes

Ok, I don’t like to fly, there I said it, but not for the reasons you may think, I realize planes are a safe mode of transportation so no problem there. I do get motion sickness so that was a little stressful. But my stress was for three major reasons; 

The first reason, the seat itself. Airlines seats are seventeen inches, three inches smaller than theater seats can anyone honestly say they’d be comfortable for a few hours in such a small seat. Then add that airlines are now making the larger passengers buy a second seat or pay for first class where the seats are roomier. I just didn’t want to be put in the position in front of everyone of being told that my ass was too big and have to fork over more money. 

Well, I did fit into the seat, not the first time I tried, I decided to take the aisle seat and have my thin husband sit in the middle, well my first attempt to sit down the arm rest was in the way I looked like a was riding a bull and it felt like I was wearing a thong. I immediately jumped up and my husband lifted the arm up. Hallelujah I’m in. 

The second reason, the seat belt. I pulled and tugged no can do I needed an extension. On both American and Hawaiian Airlines the flight crew was discreet when they gave it to me. On one of the inter island flights the belt did fit, if I wore it the proper way, under my tummy on my pelvic area. Dana said the way I was doing it over my tummy could cause major internal damage. Well if the plane was going down it really didn’t matter how much damage there was, so over the tummy it was. 

The bathroom. This was probably the biggie. I stopped all fluids a few hours before take off. I wasn’t sure if I would fit. Well, I tried to hold it but couldn’t, I tried to wait until there wasn’t a line, I just wanted to walk up and in. No such luck, I had to stand in line I’m sure half the people were watching the movie the other half were watching me to see if I would fit. 

So there I stood looking at this little door, that opened inside, starting to panic not only do I have to get in, I have to clear the door. The girl in front of me was average size and she went in went in sideways. Now I’m starting to sweat. When it was my turn sideways it was, I cleared the door. I would like to meet the Jackass who designed the plane. I could barely turn, I saw where the toilet was, turned around, struggled to get my pants down then fell backwards. I’m sure the first few rows could hear me struggling to move around in there. When I came out I wanted to bow to everyone and yell, “I made it!” No encore. 

So, I guess I stressed for nothing, I didn’t embarrass myself or my family, there’s just one more thing I’d like to say;   

For all those people that say they belong to the Mile High Club, you are either a liar or a little person; no two average sized people could fit in that toilet and get their groove on, impossible. If you still swear by your story contact Cirque du Soleil they have a job for you.

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9 Responses to “Airplanes”


  1. 1 Jennifer September 12, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    HI NANCY
    OK WE JUST GOT HOME LAST NIGHT FROM MAUI. I TOTALLY AGREE ABOUT THE PLANE. WE HAD MY HUSBAND’S COUSIN WITH HER TWIN 10 MONTH OLD BOYS WITH US. NOW PUT A BIG BODY AND A 10 MONTH OLD IN THE BATHROOM. WHAT A NIGHTMARE. THE CHANGING TABLE DROPS DOWN, YEAH RIGHT. SHOULD HAVE JUST CHANGED THEM ON THE FLOOR. THEN YOU GET THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU WHO PUTS THERE SEAT BACK WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO EAT OR DRINK AND MY BIG BELLY..WHAT A JOKE. HOPE WHEN YOU GOT ON LAND YOU HAD A GOOD TIME. WE HAD A BLAST. ATE, DRANK, LAYED OUT IN THE SUN AND ATE SOME MORE. 🙂 I WONDER WHY MY BELLY IS SO BIG…LOL…JENNIFER

    • 2 Nancy September 13, 2009 at 6:33 pm

      Aloha, Welcome home.
      It sounds like you had a great time. Your tummy isn’t that big if you can still put the tray down, when mine is down its still in the upright position. Like you, we relaxed, ate, relaxed and ate.
      Hopefully your cousin’s twins travelled better than a family on our flight, I may just write about that and the movie fiasco on another entry.
      See ya!

  2. 3 Jessica September 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    I’ve never quite figured out that mile high club, either – unless it was a private jet, I guess…

  3. 5 seniorsafari September 12, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    I hate flying too and I’m tiny! I feel claustrophobic stuck in those seats with all these bigger people around me–so closed in, so trapped! I have bad knees and can’t stretch out my legs in those damn seats either!

    Although I’m tiny, I’d never qualify for the Mile High club. Who the hell could get “in the mood” during a stressful airplane flight??????

    • 6 Nancy September 13, 2009 at 6:48 pm

      Ok, you can cook, keep up with three blogs, worked with the elderly, take care of your mom, and your tiny, please I can’t handle anymore.
      A tiny person worries about getting in the mood for the Mile High club, a heavy person worries about getting into the restroom. LOL
      🙂 🙂 🙂

  4. 8 GAIL September 12, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    I DIDN’T REALIZE TELL NOW I WROTE TO YOU ON (MY BROTHER WROTE)…WHAT WAS THE WATER FROM THAT CAME FROM YOUR PLACE WHEN YOU WERE GONE….????????????????I’M CURIOUS…GAIL

  5. 9 Nancy September 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    The water pipe in the backyard broke, my uncle was able to shut the valve to the back yard but mud was everywhere. He didn’t want to ruin our trip, so he didn’t say anything until we got home. I felt so bad; my mom even fell twice, while we were away. I need to send him on vacation 🙂


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