Just My Size

My husband and I, our kids and one of our nieces will be in Hawaii on a much needed vacation. Everyone feels I need to get away, and I have to agree. Dealing with my mom has been very difficult. But lately I’ve been under another type of stress, finding clothes to wear. 

Being a plus sized gal, going to Hawaii is challenging. I’ve been doing my shopping on the internet since I really don’t have the free time away from mom. But believe it or not I’ve been finding some cute tops, now I’m trying to find Capri’s. This hasn’t been easy since easy my legs are totally white they haven’t seen daylight in probably thirty-six years, then add to it their shaped like tree trunks. But as long as I don’t get to daring (I don’t want to embarrass the family) to hell with the people I don’t know, I’ll never see them again. 

Well, anyway I was shopping last night at midnight, when I started to look at swimsuits.  I was on the JMS (Just My Size) site. I found a catalog that helps you find your perfect swimwear solutions. 

The first page has different woman talking about their issues; 

“My (D) Cups Runneth Over” 

Chick number one is saying “No A, B, C’s for me I am strictly a D cup, my cup runneth over, I gotta be careful when coming out of the pool because when you jump up and the water hits it almost makes you completely exposed, JMS leaves her covered from bottom to top.”

What the hell, my double DD’s runneth over, under and to the side, forget about jumping anywhere, I might knock myself out. So I guess I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a turtle neck. 

“Tame My Thighs” 

Chick number two; is saying “I feel great from the waist up, it’s my thighs that are the problem, I just want a bathing suit that makes me feel sexy, you’ll never see me at the edge of the pool with these thighs, I’m right in the water the deep water  JMS has suits that makes these thighs disappear.”

Well, I don’t want my thighs to disappear, because I won’t have a place for my love handles, I would settle for a suit to make them one half their size. So, I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a twenty-one inch inseam. 

“I Deserve Curves” 

The next woman is saying; “When I go to the pool or the beach, I go for the whole day, I want to put my suit on one time adjust it once and have it perfect for the rest of day, I don’t want to look like Sponge Bob Square Pants, C’mon JMS, help me get my curve on.”

Ok, I seen Sponge Bob Square Pants, and if I remember correctly he looked a hell of a lot better than me in a swimsuit. So, maybe suspenders would help. 

“Hide My Hips” 

Ok this one is talking about her hips; “Right from the lips, straight to the hips, that’s me, I want to believe I’m still a surfer girl I love hanging out at the beach, but I don’t want my hips to hang out, thanks JMS for making some swimsuits that makes my hips look good.”

Yeah, I like to think of myself as a surfer girl too, but let’s face it the song came out in 1963, and so did my hips, so to hide my hips; I’ll leave them in the car with a hot dog. 

“Trim My Tummy” 

Number five is talking about her tummy; “Swimsuit issues, let’s see I will never buy a swimsuit again if it does not have a skirt. Tummy control in a swimsuit is always good I’ve had tummy fat forever, since I was about two seconds old.  With JMS swimsuits, this year I’m thrilled to head to the pool and my nine year old is ecstatic

Wow, this poor woman has had tummy fat since she was two seconds old, I didn’t start getting heavy until much later. I glad the skirts on the new swimsuits make her feel better, I’m still going to look for one with a skirt, suspenders and an extra set of pants. 

“More To Adore” 

Number six, “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them, when I find bathing suits that I wear, I really have to cover up because I don’t want to show everything, I just love to be able to walk and feel comfortable and feel safe. No more cover ups, JMS has me covered.”

What this woman had to say is right on “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them.” This is true the last time my husband saw my curves he had to take a bonine. So add to my swimsuit a jacket to hide my bodacious body.  

So there it is, I need a swim suit that has a turtle neck to keep my double DD’s in check, Capri length to cover my thighs, suspenders,, a hot dog to keep my hips in check, a skirt to hide my tummy and a jacket to hide my curves. 

No problem I put everything together and bought a sweat suit.


5 Responses to “Just My Size”

  1. 1 Jennifer August 17, 2009 at 5:48 am

    Hi Nancy
    My husband and i are leaving for Maui on the 4th of September and i totally know what you mean. I am also a plus size girl. I have a bathing suit that i got from Lane Bryant internet only. It is a Miracle suit. Yes it is a Miracle i can get it on but i love it. Yes it has a skirt because of my butt. lol If you need any help just let me know. We go to Maui/Hawaii every year on vacation. I always get new clothes to go because you know a girl wants to look good. hee hee Good luck…..Jennifer

  2. 2 Nancy August 17, 2009 at 7:48 am

    I’ve been to Hawaii twice, my kids Dana and Chris are like you and your husband, every year they go for three weeks. This year we’re tagging along.
    I decided not to buy a swimsuit, even a Miracle suit won’t help, I’m much to heavy to do that to everyone, I’ll be wearing Capri’s and selling my shade to the natives.

  3. 3 seniorsafari August 17, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Sweats sound good to me! I haven’t worn a bathing suit in over 20 years!

    “to hell with the people I don’t know, I’ll never see them again. ”

    Haha! That’s what I said when I traveled out here to Texas! I wore my pajama’s for the whole trip!! 🙂

  4. 4 Nancy August 18, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Please tell me, you wore the boxer type with a t-shirt. I would hate to think you were in a nylon tricot gown going cross country. lol

  5. 5 seniorsafari August 19, 2009 at 6:37 am

    Hahahaha!! Nancy, I’m not THAT brave!! I wore print pajama pants and t-shirts!!

    Did you see my post on Mouse Musings about going to Texas? Look at that and read the comments–to-o-o-o funny!


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