Snap, Crackle and Pop

When I read in the newspaper or listen to the news, and their talking about some one who just seemed to have snapped, I wonder what could have pushed them so far, that they lost control. 

SNAP, my mother. 

For twenty-nine months, almost everyday my mom has pushed me to my boiling point. Right when it seems like I’m going to spill, over she pulls back, lets me simmer then turns up the heat again. 

Well, it happened again, this time, I SNAPPED, and CRACKLED. 

She was on me the day before. From the moment she woke up until the time she went to bed, nonstop.  I could do nothing, or say anything right. Add to it she would not eat. Two Enusre’s, maybe two spoonfuls of cereal, before she threw it in the sink. That was it all day. 

She knows it brothers me when she doesn’t eat. So at six pm, I took in one slice of roast cut into little pieces, broccoli, half of a small potato and two slices of tomato. I didn’t say anything just left it on the table next to her. 

The next morning, she came out of her room carrying the plate I gave her the night before. She said good morning, smiled made sure I saw the plate before she dropped it into the sink, the only thing she ate was the broccoli. 

I heard the POP, I felt a little lightheaded, and the next thing I was on my feet. 

Yes, I was able to control myself, enough not to do anything I would be sorry for. But, I wasn’t controlled enough not to tell her how upset, angry and tired of her games I am. 

Yes, I have let her know how I felt before, but this time it was different. I was about one foot away, eye to eye. She was sitting in her chair I was hovering over. No escape route she was stuck in the chair, and I was stuck on stupid. 

I explained, what I mean by broken record, I explained the difference between a pity party and a regular party. I explained that her lack of protein was causing her type of dementia to get worse, this time instead of saying her brain was misfiring, I said her brain was starving and rotting from lack of proper nutrition.  

I was doing an impression of a 78 rpm record nonstop, not skipping a beat. Only this time she couldn’t look away, eye to eye baby. When I was done, had I been a smoker I would have smoked a pack, if I was a drinker, it would have been bottoms up. I was exhausted. 

When it was all over, she didn’t say a word; she just looked at my husband in the kitchen and said, “What are you laughing at?” He wasn’t laughing he was trying to decide if he should spray me down with the fire extinguisher or throw it at me. He did however, make the right decision to let me explode rather than implode. 

I instantly felt relieved, my shoulders and neck weren’t so stiff, my mind was clearer. 

For about an hour she said nothing, then she looked at me and said, “I’m hungry.” She either didn’t hear a thing I said, or didn’t care. 

“I’m hungry, what do we have to eat?”
“Spaghetti, roast or fajitas.”
“Nothing sounds good, what else do we have?”
“Nothing else, I’m no longer a short order cook, making you something special only for you to throw it out, now you’ll eat what we eat.”

Yes, I make a meat sauce, and what it is, is that my mom will not eat “meat”. So when she sat down she painstaking started to pick the meat out. I walked over leaned over her and her bowl and said, 

“Didn’t you hear me earlier when I was explaining that your brain was rotting from lack of protein?”
“I heard you.”
“Do you not care, do you not realize that if you get worse you will be in a home, I can no longer do it by myself, you need to take some responsibility.”
“I’ll eat the meat, but I’m probably going to throw up.” 

Well, it’s been five days since Snap, Crackle and Pop, and she has not given me any real problems since then. 

One last thing, my mother never eats hamburger, well this week she ate a cheeseburger from In & Out. 

I was so shocked; I picked up the Times and turned on CNN to see if Hell froze over.

Footnote: On the sixth day she was back to her old games.


8 Responses to “Snap, Crackle and Pop”

  1. 1 sweetiegirlz June 8, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Awwww, more touching than humorous. more hurt than laughter. big ((((hugs))) for taking care of your mom. It can NOT be easy. I hope you find the strength somewhere and things change a little for the better. I used to take care of Alzheimers patients in a nursing home.

    • 2 Nancy June 9, 2009 at 10:08 am

      Thank you for your comment.
      It takes a special type of person to work with Alzheimer patients. After twenty-nine months, I am beginning to question if I’m actually able to keep going. My mother suffers from dementia caused by lack of protein; it is reversible, with proper nutrition. However, getting her to make the right choices is another story. She wants to die happy only eating what she wants, unfortunately while the quality of her life goes down, so does mine.


  2. 3 seniorsafari June 9, 2009 at 8:41 am

    Oh Nancy! Watcha gonna do?? I feel it’s good that you were able to blow off some steam and relieve some tension….even though it didn’t change anything for the long haul.
    Do you have anyone for respite for YOU? Someone who can come in for a few days and let you get away for awhile? That would help you immensely!
    You are right–if she doesn’t start getting some protein, she is going to end up on a feeding tube and I really don’t think she’ll like that one bit!!

    • 4 Nancy June 9, 2009 at 9:45 am


      Your comments to me are either filled with information, encouraging or funny. I actually look forward to hearing from you. If only my husband wanted more children I would adopt you.
      In August my husband and I along with our kids are going to Hawaii, for two weeks. I’ve just got to make it until then. Either my brother will babysit or mom is going temporarily to a retirement home. (Did I say temporary?) I went yesterday for the admission papers for the doctor to complete, and I made sure she saw the forms. So she’s not talking to me at the moment. Yes, silence is golden.

      Nancy 

  3. 5 seniorsafari June 9, 2009 at 8:54 am

    See if Mom will watch this (probably not)… 😉

    • 6 Nancy June 9, 2009 at 9:46 am

      Barbara you are always thinking of others, which is evident in your blogs. Thanks for the video, I will try to get her to watch it later, at this point in time I’m lying low and out of her radar.


  4. 7 seniorsafari June 10, 2009 at 6:58 am

    “I actually look forward to hearing from you. If only my husband wanted more children I would adopt you.”……Awwwww! You are so sweet!!!

    “I will try to get her to watch it later, at this point in time I’m lying low and out of her radar. “…….wise choice!

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