Big Butt Little Stool

No, it’s not what you’re thinking. 

Now my BFF Nancy, is the type of friend, that if she came over to visit, and you had laundry to fold or dishes to do, she would just pitch in. You don’t have to ask for help, she is just on auto pilot. I guess since she has four kids, she is used to multitasking. Well, for whatever reason she is always doing or helping someone. 

This brings me to the other day, we were talking on the phone, and she brought up that she had hit her head at her daughter’s house. When she was telling me how it happened, I didn’t laugh, but now knowing she’s ok, I can’t stop. 

Now when your heavy, you learn to size up situations, you know where to walk, where to sit and where you can squeeze into. Nancy, on the other hand, like all thin people think they can sit and fit anywhere, well on this day she learned the hard way that even thin people need to be careful. 

She was babysitting three of her grandkids at her home, and typical of Nancy, decided to make it easier for her daughter, drove the kids back to their home, saving her daughter a trip to pick them up.  

Once, she got the kids to their house they wanted to play in the yard, Nancy, being one of the best grandmas around let them play outside. Not thinking about her granddaughter being in good shoes and a dress, watched her as she made mud pies. When the light went on, she realized her granddaughter had more dirt on herself than in the flower bed, she decided to clean her up, or as I call it getting rid of the evidence. 

She drew a bath, for her granddaughter and pulled up a child’s stool to sit down to bathe her.  

Now, it didn’t matter at this point that my BFF is thin, all that mattered is her butt was bigger than a child’s. I’m sure the stool had a weight and size limit and if it wasn’t printed directly on the stool, she should have realized in mid air that her butt was going to spill over the sides, hence, big butt little stool.  

She sat directly down, no problem but when she shifted her weight she ended up going backwards, thud hitting the door and ending up at a 90 degree angle, legs in the air. She yelled and her daughter who was now home went in to check what had happened. She was alright, a bump, a few birds and stars in a halo formation around her head, maybe a bruised behind and hopefully a little smarter…

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