Mirrors Don’t Lie

Well I’ve said it many times, my mom is petite. She has never been heavy. But she is eighty-four years old and time does take a toll even on small people. 

Now, there’s mirrors in every room in my mother’s house and mirrors don’t lie. Or do they? 

After her shower today, I was putting lotion on her, or what I like to call buttering her up. When I made the comment she reminded me of a Foster Farms chicken: 

“Mom, I feel like I’m buttering up a chicken.”
“Why?”
“Since you haven’t been out in the sun lately, lost 5 pounds your skin color and the looseness of your skin remind me of a chicken.”
“I guess I’m not packed tight like you.” (Ok, I deserve that one).
“I’ve always kept trim that’s why at my age my body still looks good. I hope I never sag like most women do when they get to be my age.”
“What! Mom to some extent you body sags.”
“No. even my breasts still look good I’m very fortunate.”  

Now, I’m going to be serious my mom looks great for her age. However, even thin she reminds me of the old granny cartoon in Playboy. 

“Come on mom, you can’t be serious your boobs sag.”
“No, I see myself everyday in the mirror after my shower and I really don’t.”  

Now, she really means it. We have had her vision checked just last year so it can’t be her eyes. It must be her mirrors. They must have a flaw in the reflection. 

Later in the day when we were alone, she went and sat in the den. There was my opportunity to check. I took off my t-shirt and bra and looked into her mirror. Yikes, I scared myself, but I found the answer, with all the lights out standing in the dark in front of the mirror I too looked perky.

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2 Responses to “Mirrors Don’t Lie”


  1. 1 seniorsafari April 13, 2009 at 7:58 am

    Can I borrow that mirror? 😉

  2. 2 Davis April 13, 2009 at 8:42 am

    And I can’t believe what a taut waist I have for a man in his 50s!


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