Coffee Water

Everyday my mom and I argue about the same thing “coffee.” My mom loves her cup(s) of coffee. Unfortunately when she drinks a cup she will normally not want to eat or drink anything else. I guess its like when you have hot soup it seems to fill you up sooner than actually eating what I call regular food.

My mom is always on the verge of dehydration. In the last eighteen months we have had three ambulance rides and three hospital stays because she will not take in enough fluids.
So my rule is no coffee unless she has had at least four small bottles of water or equivalent the day before. No bending of this rule. (Two years ago my father passed away after becoming dehydrated which caused his kidneys to shut down). So, let me say it again no bending of this rule.

So the coffee is on the top shelf (where she can’t reach) in the kitchen. My husband will make himself a cup every morning sit and read the paper before she gets up. Once she’s up she will have Ensure (which I count in her fluid intake) then it starts;

Nancy, get the coffee down.”
“Nancy, get the coffee down.”
“Nancy, don’t you hear me I said get the coffee down?”
“Mom, every morning we go through this your not drinking enough fluids to have a cup of coffee.”
“I drink enough water and juices so get the coffee down.”
“I’ll tell you what, let’s go do your catheter and if it looks like you have had enough fluids I’ll give you a cup.”
“I don’t want to do the catheter until later. So give me a cup now, after all its coffee water. It won’t hurt me.”
“Mom, the doctor said as long as you increase your fluids to offset the coffee you could have it but you don’t in fact you end up drinking less.”

My mom seems to think if she calls coffee, coffee water it makes it okay to drink. I have explained even though we call the water in the toilet, toilet water that wouldn’t be okay to drink either. She wants coffee not decaf with her fluid intake of sixteen to twenty ounces a day and that is not enough for me to give her “coffee water.”

It’s like I’m in prisoner in my own home.”
“Mom, I have done everything to keep your life the same, work with me to keep you healthy. All I ask is for you eat one small meal to get protein and drink enough so you don’t become dehydrated.”
“I’m in prison and you’re the Warden.”

No, I’m m not in prison but it sometimes feels like hell, and she carries the bigger pitchfork.

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2 Responses to “Coffee Water”


  1. 1 Davis April 6, 2009 at 8:37 am

    Wow — you have my sympathies. It must be difficult caring for an aging parent like that.

  2. 2 Linn April 7, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Ok nancy, now I want coffee!


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