Driving Me Loca

 It has been a trying three days. For my birthday my mom decided against giving me a birthday hug, kiss or even a Hallmark card. Instead she decided to give me what she does best, drive me nuts. 

All morning my mother was walking around the house fine without the walker until it was time for her shower. I set out the usual; one small bath towel, two hand towels washcloth, a fresh gown, slippers and depends. 

So, in she goes walker and all. Now keep in mind this is a narrow bathroom. The shower is about three feet from the toilet so you can’t fully open the shower door if someone is standing there. Now all her clothes are on the sink. She’s standing there naked between the toilet and shower her walker is in front of her. 

Nancy, Nancy!”
What mom?” (As I resist screaming I’m blind, I’m blind).
Turn the shower on.” (Here’s the trick she set me up, she knows between the clothes she took off and threw on the floor, the walker and her standing in between the toilet and shower I can’t reach the shower handles.)
“Mom, how can I get in to help? You didn’t need the walker earlier. Do you really need it now?”
No put it in my room. I forgot you’re too heavy to squeeze in.” (Oh, yes she did. That settles it if there’s a birthday cake in the house she’s not getting a piece). 

After her shower it was catheter time. I got everything out and ready to go. As I was leaning over her; 

“Your, really gray.”
“I wasn’t gray until I moved in to help you.”
“You, don’t have many wrinkles, because your face is so round.” (Now really would you say something like that to someone doing a catheter on you)?
Mom, today’s my birthday can’t you be nice?”
“What’s wrong with what I said you have a lot of gray and your face is round.”
“I didn’t know today was your birthday?” (What the heck, still no happy birthday?) 

Later in the morning I went to Super Cuts. I cut my hair shorter and styled so I can brush my hair forward with a few wisps of bangs and bought a tube of Short Sexy Hair. (Thank you, Salle for the styling advice). After the hair cut I did a wash in shampoo in the color of nutmeg. I looked and felt younger. 

After I made my mom her dinner Paul and I went to our granddaughter’s t-ball game. It started just before we got there. She was playing short stop as I sat on the bleachers I could hear her yelling; “Grandma, did you cut your hair?”  I nodded yes, than put my finger to my lips to shush her before she asked about the dye job. 

After the game, Paul and Muriel took us all out to dinner at Outback’s to celebrate Dana’s and my birthdays. It was so much fun. 

When we got home I was giving my mom dessert she looked at me and said; 

“Did you cut your hair?”
“Yes, earlier today. Do you like it?”
“Yes, when it’s shorter it looks neater.” 
Finally, that’s her way of saying Happy Birthday!

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2 Responses to “Driving Me Loca”


  1. 1 Linn March 28, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Oh honey, Happy Birthday!!

    You certainly deserve it and I am so very glad you had a haircut and dye job (the very best part of a birthday!!) and a good dinner out with your family.

    No, sadly, your mom is not really your “mom” anymore. I think that’s the absolute hardest thing I see in children caring for their elderly parents – especially when they are the primary caregivers like yourself. You lose that part of yourself that was known and loved by that one person who had known you when you were most innocent and vulnerable. And then the tables turn and they are the vulnerable ones. We wish they could be humble and sweet – innocent like a child perhaps, but it seems instead that although they do become self-centered like a child, they also become defensive; like animals afraid to be hurt, they lash out. Continue to renew yourself, surround yourself with those who love you and continue to write.
    Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing. Your writing is so absolutely poignant, real and hilarious! I haven’t ever read such a well written blog before. Blessings to you in your daily trials and tribulations – I’ll be following the saga!

  2. 2 matt March 29, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    This blog’s great!! Thanks :).


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