Opposites Attract

Part of my vacation was spent visiting my BF, Nancy. (Yes, she has my name.) Nancy and I are total opposites. I have known her and her family for over 34 years. I love her entire family. She is aware of my blog, so I told her not to do or say anything that would compel me to write an entry. Did she listen? No.

Nancy’s granddaughter is 4 months older than my granddaughter, and both are over 4 years old. They’re really smart, having convinced Nancy and me to let them have more leniency than we allowed their Moms when they were that age.

One day, Nancy and I started talking about privacy. I mentioned that when Mac and I go to a public restroom, she is allowed into the stall next to mine. She locks the door and when done, waits until I’m finished before exiting the stall. When her mom was younger, I would squeeze in with her or stand in front of her with the door open.

Nancy asked me what if she wouldn’t open the door or come out?  I said I use a low, growling voice “OPEN THE DOOR. NOW.” It tends to work.

Then, my BF gave me a reason for this entry.

Apparently, her granddaughter wanted her privacy. She was at Macy’s one evening and her granddaughter went into the stall and locked the door with Nancy outside. When she was done, she told her grandma she needed help. Nancy said her granddaughter refused to open the door because she went poo and didn’t want to make a mess. Now the kid is 4, how much of a mess can a little bum make? If anything, a little TP, water, and a bath when you get home.

She asked, “what would you have done?” I explained again, with my I’m-not-kidding-around-voice “OPEN THE DOOR. NOW.” Or, I would have said, “if you don’t open the door, I’m leaving” and then stayed really quiet for five minutes, which is like a day and a half to a 4-year-old. She’ll get scared and open the door, mission accomplished.

To all you perfect parents who are gasping, thinking I’m horrible, think back to when you played peek-a-boo with your baby and laughed when they jumped. Scaring the heck out of your baby is worse than scaring your 4-year-old. At least I could say, next time, listen when I tell you something.

Or, you could do like my BF. (No offense Nancy, you know I love you and that I think of you as one of the best mother’s around, but sometimes…)

When Nancy’s granddaughter refused to open the door. Nancy reasoned if she made her get up, she would make a mess. She didn’t want to scare her into opening the door. So at 59 years old, she crawled under the door to her granddaughter. Yikes, even if I could fit my butt under the door, I wouldn’t do it. And no, Nancy, just because it’s Macy’s doesn’t mean the floor is clean.

Had I walked in and saw your butt half way into a stall with little feet visible, 911 would have been called.

Nancy you are the best, you’re into nature and Mother Earth. You are one of the best grandma’s I know. But, you have a screw loose. Next time, call me and let me tell your granddaughter “OPEN THE DOOR. NOW.” – it will save you from becoming a Swiffer for Macy’s.


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