Anger Management or Why Are You Yelling?

I’m taking the advice of my two girls and from now on I’m only going to say it once.

I’ve seen it in action with both girls, Dana with Mackenzie and Muriel with her Dad. They will say something or answer a question once, no second chance. Of course they will hear, “what did you say?” or “I didn’t hear you.” But, both girls will not respond (well sometimes Dana will, she’s not as controlled as Muriel).  The end.

Now it’s amazing, truly amazing, it works.
For them.
Me? I have no control, none, zilch, zero. I try, I pray, but still no control.

A simple “Good morning” can cause me to get a migraine or an ulcer in no time flat.

“Good morning, Mom.”
“What?”
Again, “Good morning.”
“I can’t hear you.”
“Good morning.”
“Speak up.”
“Good morning.”
“I can’t understand.”
“GOOD MORNING, MOM!”, then it starts.
“Why do you always yell, you have so much anger, its a real problem, you should do something about it.”

Yes, its a problem, not a real big problem only a 4’11”, 115 lb problem.

Yes, Dana and Muriel, I know, say it once only once, then ignore. I can’t. I have tried so far as to bite the inside of my mouth to keep quiet, once I bit so hard I thought i was going to need a transfusion.  I tighten my jaw, but in the background I can hear my voice repeating what I just said.  Why?  Why?  

I must have a defect, something could be wrong in my brain, it could be caused by problems with my DNA.  I don’t know what to do.

Then I tried another way.  I just sat by mom, gave her undivided attention, looked into her eyes, spoke loud and clear, she heard me.  Hallelujah, she heard me! Then she said, “do we have any cotton balls your voice irritates me.”

Okay, a 6 by 9 cell does not look so bad, 3 squares a day, little to no exercise, your own toilet and sink, lights out 10 pm – all do able.

The only thing that keeps me from going over the edge is the Saint, kids, and granddaughter, plus the shared shower in prison.

So off to the store for cotton balls for MY ears.

Salle, thanks for the comment, hope D is feeling better.

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5 Responses to “Anger Management or Why Are You Yelling?”


  1. 1 Dana July 31, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Hi Mom,

    I love your blog, it’s too funny…but oh so true! I’m glad that you started it, I think it will help keep your sanity when it comes to grandma.

    p.s. I think your blog is a conspiracy, your secretly telling me that maybe life with a 4 year old (who knows more than me) is not as crazy as it seems!
    Love You Mom!

  2. 2 chee November 16, 2009 at 5:46 am

    What about naggy grandparents who are still busybodies!!! Irritating!! Every day asking the same things. Answer can’t hear if not loud. Don’t answer, they start to scold that you are dumb, why you not answer. Just get so angry nowadays!!

    • 3 Nancy November 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm

      I only had one grandparent who lived until I was married and had children. He was my mother’s dad, he never interfered or said unkind words, I still miss him to this day, and I am so happy my kids were old enough to have memories of him. I can identify with you when dealing with my mom. Unkind words or names are very hurtful I have to remind myself and I want to tell you, your grandparents really do love you, older people tend to lose patience with themselves or maybe it’s because of pain, or dementia for whatever reason out of frustration they tend to strike out at someone, unfortunately its you. Everyone tells me and I will tell you don’t take it personal, it’s hard I know. Try to be patient and remember one day soon we’ll be their age.

  3. 4 chee November 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    I am actually the daughter-in-law. The grandma i am talking about is my mil. She is old (99yrs old), noisy, irritating as she must open her mouth to ask and say the same things every time. My own mother (still living just celebrated her 80th bday) and father (deceased) were quiet people, my own grandparents (both mum’s and dad’s side) were also very quiet types. Just this grandma (my husband’s mum) to my children, she is real noisy and busybody, can’t just keep her mouth shut or her hands touch everything and must ask who is on the phone or where is this visitor from, etc… then repeat and repeat…she will drive you up the wall, till you start yelling. If you keep quiet, she starts to scold, are you deaf, are you dumb?

    • 5 Nancy November 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm

      Yikes, your MIL that’s a different story, I would say just ignore her, repeat things once if she still can’t hear you, let her know she needs a hearing aid. But please try to be patient for your husband and kid’s sake, good luck.


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