Just My Size

My husband and I, our kids and one of our nieces will be in Hawaii on a much needed vacation. Everyone feels I need to get away, and I have to agree. Dealing with my mom has been very difficult. But lately I’ve been under another type of stress, finding clothes to wear. 

Being a plus sized gal, going to Hawaii is challenging. I’ve been doing my shopping on the internet since I really don’t have the free time away from mom. But believe it or not I’ve been finding some cute tops, now I’m trying to find Capri’s. This hasn’t been easy since easy my legs are totally white they haven’t seen daylight in probably thirty-six years, then add to it their shaped like tree trunks. But as long as I don’t get to daring (I don’t want to embarrass the family) to hell with the people I don’t know, I’ll never see them again. 

Well, anyway I was shopping last night at midnight, when I started to look at swimsuits.  I was on the JMS (Just My Size) site. I found a catalog that helps you find your perfect swimwear solutions. 

The first page has different woman talking about their issues; 

“My (D) Cups Runneth Over” 

Chick number one is saying “No A, B, C’s for me I am strictly a D cup, my cup runneth over, I gotta be careful when coming out of the pool because when you jump up and the water hits it almost makes you completely exposed, JMS leaves her covered from bottom to top.”

What the hell, my double DD’s runneth over, under and to the side, forget about jumping anywhere, I might knock myself out. So I guess I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a turtle neck. 

“Tame My Thighs” 

Chick number two; is saying “I feel great from the waist up, it’s my thighs that are the problem, I just want a bathing suit that makes me feel sexy, you’ll never see me at the edge of the pool with these thighs, I’m right in the water the deep water  JMS has suits that makes these thighs disappear.”

Well, I don’t want my thighs to disappear, because I won’t have a place for my love handles, I would settle for a suit to make them one half their size. So, I’ll look for a swimsuit that has a twenty-one inch inseam. 

“I Deserve Curves” 

The next woman is saying; “When I go to the pool or the beach, I go for the whole day, I want to put my suit on one time adjust it once and have it perfect for the rest of day, I don’t want to look like Sponge Bob Square Pants, C’mon JMS, help me get my curve on.”

Ok, I seen Sponge Bob Square Pants, and if I remember correctly he looked a hell of a lot better than me in a swimsuit. So, maybe suspenders would help. 

“Hide My Hips” 

Ok this one is talking about her hips; “Right from the lips, straight to the hips, that’s me, I want to believe I’m still a surfer girl I love hanging out at the beach, but I don’t want my hips to hang out, thanks JMS for making some swimsuits that makes my hips look good.”

Yeah, I like to think of myself as a surfer girl too, but let’s face it the song came out in 1963, and so did my hips, so to hide my hips; I’ll leave them in the car with a hot dog. 

“Trim My Tummy” 

Number five is talking about her tummy; “Swimsuit issues, let’s see I will never buy a swimsuit again if it does not have a skirt. Tummy control in a swimsuit is always good I’ve had tummy fat forever, since I was about two seconds old.  With JMS swimsuits, this year I’m thrilled to head to the pool and my nine year old is ecstatic

Wow, this poor woman has had tummy fat since she was two seconds old, I didn’t start getting heavy until much later. I glad the skirts on the new swimsuits make her feel better, I’m still going to look for one with a skirt, suspenders and an extra set of pants. 

“More To Adore” 

Number six, “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them, when I find bathing suits that I wear, I really have to cover up because I don’t want to show everything, I just love to be able to walk and feel comfortable and feel safe. No more cover ups, JMS has me covered.”

What this woman had to say is right on “Curves are nice, but not, huh everybody don’t need to see them.” This is true the last time my husband saw my curves he had to take a bonine. So add to my swimsuit a jacket to hide my bodacious body.  

So there it is, I need a swim suit that has a turtle neck to keep my double DD’s in check, Capri length to cover my thighs, suspenders,, a hot dog to keep my hips in check, a skirt to hide my tummy and a jacket to hide my curves. 

No problem I put everything together and bought a sweat suit.

It Ain’t Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

On my last entry, I mentioned it was one of my worst days in a while. Well, “it ain’t over till fat lady sings,” and I’m not singing yet. 

On Monday I took my mom to the doctor’s, all her tests came in, and as expected everything was within range except her vitamin B-12. My mom suffers from pernicious anemia; her symptoms are weakness, feeling tired, lightheadedness, pale, losing weight (eight pounds in the last seven months) depression and dementia. 

During the visit my mom was having difficulty with her ability to understand and stay on track with questions the doctor was asking her. She also would roll her eyes and shrug her shoulders whenever I would speak. She called me a liar when I explained she was not eating, and said I was never home to take care of her. When her doctor questioned why she has not come for her B-12 shots she replied that she was told by him that she no longer needed them. She was then asked why she had lost more weight; she tried to explain that he was wrong she had gained not lost. 

I explained that my doctor was concerned for my health, he agreed that I needed help. I told him that my husband and I were planning to go with our kids to Hawaii for two weeks but that I have been unable to find someone to do my mom’s catheters. He at that point called for a social worker to get involved. He explained the progression of dementia and that I should realize that at some point changes will have to be made. He also prescribed medication that might help with her depression. 

As we were leaving his office, he explained he would be away for three weeks on vacation. I asked if he was going anywhere special, yes he was going to Japan. At that point my mom joined in by saying when she was growing up she had a Japanese neighbor who had eyes like his,(OMG), and her sister when growing up had fat cheeks so even her eyes looked slanted. I just smiled and shook my head, he smiled back, different generation, and in my mom’s case different world.

Two days later, I got a call from our Social Worker, she had arranged for a nurse to come out and evaluate my mom; she would be there later that day. Soon after I received a call from the nurse, she scheduled us between one and two. 

The nurse was wonderful, her voice and demeanor was so caring, I instantly felt relaxed, we talked for about twenty minutes, and then I brought in my mom. She made some small talk and when my mom felt comfortable started asking questions.
 
“How old are you.”
“Eighty seven.”
“What year is it?”
“Nineteen eighty-eight.”
“How long were you married?”
“Eighty years.”
“What month is it?”
“October.”
“What day is it?”
“Saturday.”
“What is the date?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who is the President of the United States?”
“Oh, I know this one; it’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“His first name starts with a B.”
“It’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“It’s Barack.”   
“Oh yeah, Barackus,”
“Do you know his last name?”
“It’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“It’s starts with an O.”
“Oh, I remember its Barackus Overstreet.”

Every answer was wrong. 

“Mom, you need to watch the news, read the paper and talk so you can keep up to date with everything.”
“I am up to date.”
“Mom, all the questions she asked, you got wrong.”
“I knew the answers; I just didn’t want to tell her.”
“Keep playing that game, you’ll find yourself in a home.” 

Its evident today was not going to be a good one. The nurse said she would come back next week. She wants me to concentrate more on her caloric intake then protein. So my mission is to feed her fifteen hundred calories a day. Shoot that should be easy, I can do fifteen hundred by lunch. But, with my mom let’s just say Mission Impossible, I’ve been able to get her up to thirteen hundred, then she stops, she cannot or will not eat anymore. 

“Mom, you need to eat, if you lose more weight, you’ll have to go to the home so you can get proper nourishment.”
“I don’t have to do anything, or eat anything I don’t want to.”
“Mom, you’re losing it.”
“You think I’m losing it, maybe your losing it.”

Maybe.