RUNAWAY

At fifty-six, I finally did it, I ran away from home. 

Two weeks ago my mom was in top form, I hadn’t been feeling well and she just wouldn’t let up, for everything I would say she had an answer, something had to give and it was me. All morning tit for tat, then finally the last straw; 

“Mom, we need to air out your room today.”
“The air in my room is fine, keep the window closed.”
“Mom lets open the window half way and turn the fan on for thirty minutes while you’re in the den, then we’ll close up shop again.”
“Let’s keep the window closed, why do you want to air out my room?”
“Mom, your Depends smell strong, you’re not drinking enough fluids, and I don’t want the odor throughout the house.”
“My Depends don’t stink.”
“Yeah, mom they do.”
“I don’t smell them.”
“That’s because you’re used to the smell, you don’t even notice it anymore.”
“I notice you stink, maybe that’s what you smell.”
“Mom, I don’t stink.”
“Yes, you do it’s not my Depends your smelling, its you, you stink.”
“Mom, I don’t stink.”
“Yes you do.”
“No I don’t.” 

Both of us couldn’t stop, we were like two three year olds back and forth. Finally; 

“Fine, I’ll air your room out from my stink.” 

Did, it end, no not really her mouth kept going, I had a headache and fever, I asked her to leave me alone but she knew I was down and she couldn’t or wouldn’t stop. 

I grabbed some clothes and left. 

Well, no one went to her rescue. Dana had her hands full with Mac who the doctors said probably had H1N1. 

My uncle was fed up, Moo is in Europe. 

So, there she was home alone. She called everyone she could think of to spend the night, only no one came, everyone is tired of her games. The next day, I dropped in to check on her using an excuse that I needed some clothes; 

“Mom, I’m only here to pick up some things. It looks like you did alright being by yourself.”
“What’s the difference, I’m always by myself, you’re never here.”
“Mom, that’s not true, and you know it.”
“I know I don’t need you.”
“Fine, I’ll get some clothes, and leave.”
“Good.” 

So I left, and she was in for another night alone. The third day, I took in some groceries and left food. In three days, she had only eaten cereal, peaches, ice cream, three bottles of water and two Ensures. I brought to her attention there was chicken, coleslaw, lasagna, macaroni, salad, vegetables and fruit. She pointed out, she had eyes. So I left.

 After the forth night, It became apparent, she didn’t care one way or another if I came back, she was no longer afraid of being alone. I on the other hand was having trouble, how long before something happened. So back I went. 

When I told her I was back, I could tell she was happy, but she said she didn’t need me she had eaten and taken care of herself, she told me all the things she cooked and ate. I guess in her mind she had eaten, nothing was touched. 

Then it happened again, she started in on me, finally I said; 

“Mom, it started out that I wanted to keep you in your own home, keep everything the way you like it, but I can’t, I’m losing my mind. Instead of me taking care of you out of love because you’re my mom, I feel obligated, there is no one else. 
“Don’t feel obligated; I’m not your mother.”  

What the hell, now I know how Luke Skywalker felt, when Darth Vader told him he was his father. What a jolt, she’s not my mother? I had mixed emotions, I had questions but was to dumb founded at the time to say anything. Until the next day; 

“What should I call you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you told me you’re not my mom, so what should I call you, Eva?”
“I never said I wasn’t your mother.”
“Yes, you did and you know you did.”
“Well, I was mad and wanted to hurt you, you know I’m your mom.” 

Yes life is just like the movies, just like Luke, my parent is from the dark side trying to pull me in.

Go Towards The Light

Even though we have fifty million night lights through out the house my mom lately has to have her bathroom light on; 

“Nancy, I need the bathroom light on all night.”
“Why?”
“So, I can see when I get up.”
“Why are you getting up?”
“To go to the bathroom.”
“Why, your bladder doesn’t work and you wear Depends?”
“Well, I get up to change sometimes at night.”
“Well that’s no problem, leave it on, but you do remember the remote button next to your bed turns on your bedroom light.”
“I know but I like to walk towards the light, it’s easier on my eyes.” 

Having thought about this for a minute, it would be easier on her eyes to gradually walk towards the light, but I’m worried what the neighbors will think when they hear us saying; “walk towards the light mom, walk towards the light.” 

(Below is another new post listed today).

Hello, Hello Is Anyone There?

You’ve all heard the idiom “he/she is out to lunch.” For those who have never heard it before it means someone is crazy or out of touch. Well, my mom is not crazy, she suffers from beginning stages of dementia, I like to say she’s out for a snack. 

For the last couple of months, I have not been arguing with my mom about eating so her dementia has gotten worse so I now have to say not only is she out for snacks occasionally she stays out to lunch. 

Well, Norma my mom’s closest friend (or as I call her, my second mom) called to say hi we talked for a minute, then I told my mom who was sitting in the living room to pick up the phone. 

“Mom, Norma’s on the line.”
“Ok.”
“Mom, pick up the phone and say hi.”
“Hello, Hello?” 

Well I can hear my mom saying hello from the other room, but I can’t hear her on the telephone extension. I get up and see my mom talking into the DVR controller.  

“Mom, that’s not the telephone, it’s the controller for the DVR, pick up the phone.”
“Oh, I thought that was the phone.” 

I see her place the controller down; again I hear her saying;

“Hello, Hello?”
“Mom, pick up the phone.”
“No one’s on the line.”
“Mom, now your talking into the TV controller the other one’s the phone.” 

Eureka, finally she’s on the phone. 

Well, I’m back to making my mom eat at least one balanced meal a day, my mom is back to her old mean self, and I’m out to out to lunch, really out to lunch, in more ways then one.